New Years Resolutions: This one paid off.

Two years ago I made the resolution to live in the present. Since the time we had both graduated from college in Dec 2007 life was full of unknowns. We were in and out of work for the next couple of years. Living paycheck to paycheck. Trying to be creative and save money (if there was ever even enough left over to save). Sound familiar to anyone? I was always looking forward to "next year".

This time next year we might have a solid career. 
This time next year maybe we'll be able to buy a house.
This time next year let's get a dog.
This time next year we'll have time to go on dates.

And on and on and on.

At the time of making this resolution I was a few months along pregnant with Adele. Jake and I both had landed new jobs. Things were looking good. We were going in a direction of settling down and living our happy, humble little life. Well you should know that when you make an honest resolution, it will be tested. That year felt good. I focused really hard on enjoying my life every day and trying to recognized the Lord's hand in our life every day. I was feeling happier and more positive about my life in general. We upgraded and bought a mini-van (my lifelong dream. NOT! but i love it now) Our sweet girl, Adele, was born. We took our first vacation as a little family that summer. We moved into a new house that fall.

Fast forward to the end of 2011 Jake was unexpectedly and abruptly laid off from work. He had been working there for just over a year. During that year we owned our own business which was going so-so. We were never "in the red" but because of lack of funding, finances and time it just never truly grew at a pace that we were comfortable with. As he was working with this company he was trying to make some career decisions for the future. Do we drop the businesses that we sacrificed literally everything for? Did we give it another unknown and doubted year in the economy we were in? He really started to get in to what he was doing at his other job but slowly started to feel vibes that he wasn't going to last there for whatever reason....(it all makes sense NOW, but not then) In late spring/early summer 2011 he started to be really prayerful about what was next for him and our family.  He started to throw out the idea of going back to school. I wasn't for it. We had two kids at the time and one on the way. We just bought car. He was at a job that he enjoyed with opportunity to learn.  I had a job that could help hold us over for a bit. And we were one year owners of two businesses with hopes to make a life out of it. NO WAY! I wasn't ready to just dump it all.

He came home from a church event for the men (a stake priesthood session) one night and I asked him what the topics were and what his impressions were. The first thing he told me was that they talked about continuing education. My first reaction was to resist the idea even more. But as he talked about the night, I felt in my heart that this is what he needed. What our family needed. We had lived the past couple of years with lots of insecurities. Hoping that something would work out. And holy cow did we learn and grow more than we had ever hoped for.

The following weeks were full of prayer for guidance for us. We made a trip to the temple, we fasted a couple of Sundays. Jake had made a decision in the direction of law school and was looking for a sign that going back to school was the right thing to do. One Sunday not too long after the search for answers began we were at church. Jake was walking down the hall and our Bishop (the priesthood leader in our ward we attended) called to Jake to come see him in his office. He sat Jake down to ask him if he'd thought about going back to school at all. Jake was surprised at this question and answered that in fact he had thought about it. A lot. The Bishop, a man Jake has a ton of respect for, then went on to say something to the effect that he thought Jake would make a good attorney, and so on. He felt in his heart that the decision he made was GOOD! He felt the love of the Lord surge through him to confirm this decision. That afternoon when we got home Jake told me our prayers had been answered. All he needed was a confirmation, in any form, and he had received it.

Well Jake started to prepare to take the LSAT, because honestly, you can't really get any further in law school life until that big test is over. Obviously we didn't know if he'd get in to law school at this point but it's the answer that we had received so Jake started to take the steps. We didn't tell anyone about it until the end of the year which is when the LSAT was scheduled. We were afraid he'd get tanked at work, which he did. When that actually happened though, we were hurt. We knew it might happen but never thought it would happen the way it did. We tried to move on as gracefully as we could and had a wonderful Christmas season with Jake home all the time. I was able to pick up more hours at work. We prayed daily for patience in the Lord's plan for us and for forgiveness in our hearts.

The first part of 2012 went by in a flash and before we knew it Jake had received scores for his LSAT, he had applied to numerous schools and we waited as rejection and acceptance letters trickled in. The excitement of being able to pick from more than a few schools started to settle in and we scoured the internet in search of the perfect fit for us. When we decided on Southern California it all came down to three schools. Two in San Diego and one in Ontario. As we went through the process of narrowing down our pros and cons it was as if we stood in front of one door at a time. As we prayed and pondered the door would open and we would clearly see the answer. Just beyond that was another door. Each decision was this way and I can see so clearly now (and towards the end) that Heavenly Father prepared us over the last few years for this experience. We learned to rely on Him and care for each other in a way that I will always be thankful for!!

I don't know how we make it without learning to live each day to the fullest. I can say without a doubt that I've learned to recognize daily blessings in my life. I'm a happier person for it. At a point where I thought maybe I was struggling with depression I made this resolution and feel so blessed for doing so. Of course I still have days where I struggle and forget to remember what this life is really about. I have shallow moments, judgmental moments, selfish moments. Ok....maybe even more than moments. But if I keep the lines of communication open with Heavenly Father I am reminded of what a blessed and joyful life I have.